Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I am going to need a new joke.

If you have not heard the the Canberra W-league team is in the final this weekend 17 January. If they win i will no longer be able to use this joke. Rocky, Wobbly and myself have been using this joke for years, mostly while at Super 14 games in April / May, which in Canberra usually means a sub zero night game, while sitting in the grandstand with other mad Canberra fans.

So here is (maybe) its last airing.

Canberrans are Tough!

10 degC
Melbournians turn on the heat.
People in Canberra plant gardens.

4 degC
Sydney residents shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canberra sunbathe.

2 degC
Italian cars won't start.
People in Canberra drive with the windows down.

0 degC
Distilled water freezes.
Canberra water gets thicker.

-7 degC
Sydney people wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Canberra throw on a T-shirt.

-9 degC
Queenslanders begin to evacuate the state.
People in Canberra go swimming.

-18 degC
Melbourne landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canberra have a last bbq before it gets cold.

-23 degC
People in Perth cease to exist.
People in Canberra lick flagpoles.

-29 degC
Sydney people fly away to South Pacific islands.
People in Canberra throw on a light jacket.

-40 degC
Darwin disintegrates.
People in Canberra rent videos.

-51 degC
Mt. Hotham freezes.
Canberra Girl Guides begin selling Guide biscuits door to door.

-62 degC
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Penguins leave Antarctica.
Canberra Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-73 degC
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Canberra put on a coat.

-114 degC
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Canberra get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

-183 degC
Microbial life start to disappear.
Canberra cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-273 degC
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Canberra start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-296 degC
Hell freezes over.
Canberra wins the soccer.

updated 17/1
well the girls lost so Rocky, Wobbley and myself can continue to use this joke while standing at the night brumbies games in April and May.

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